LIVING LIFE DEFENSIVELY

Sorry!

I don't know.

Are you sure?

I'm not certain.

What am I supposed to do?

What do people expect of me?

Do my neighbors think poorly of me?

Why?

And the list goes on.  An on.  And on. Do you recognize any of it?

Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to you?  Have you ever asked yourself why it is that other people seem to have what you can't obtain? Why this?  Why that?  Why?!

If any of this resonates with you, I'm guessing you're a tad like me in some ways. 

You're living life in the defensive mode.

I'll speak for myself.

I wake up, tired.  Gotta go to the bathroom.  I dutifully drink my 2 glasses of water.  After 30 minutes, I eat breakfast.  Time to get ready for work.  I go.  I work.  I come home.  I make dinner.  I veg out on the computer for a while.  I go to bed.

And it starts all over again.

Isn't life exciting?

NO.  No, it's not appealing at all when you have nothing to live for.  Day after day, we do the same thing.  We don't break out of our pre-determined mold.  We can't.  We have become victims of the mundane. 

Why? Does it have to be that way?

We do that because we are allowing ourselves to live life in a defensive mode.  Do I hear some people saying things like; "But I can't help it!?!" 

That's what I usually say to myself.  I can't help it!  I HAVE to go to work or the bills won't get paid.  I HAVE to drink my stupid water.  I HAVE to eat!  I HAVE to, I HAVE to, I HAVE TO!

Yeah, you and I do have to do a lot of things.  But I'll be honest.  When I add up all the time it takes to do the 'have to's'...I still have some time left over.  

Then I say something like, I really DON'T have time.  You don't understand, there are simply NOT enough hours in the day to do all that I need to do!

Can anybody other than myself, relate to any of this?

I was actually in church, listening to a message.  I admit that my mind does wander a bit...even when the message is really good.  Like today.  In spite of that, all of the sudden I had a random thought strike me.  It came from nowhere and was very unexpected.  Or maybe Someone placed that thought in my head.  

"YOU'RE LIVING A DEFENSIVE LIFE"

Huh?  What?  Where did that thought come from?  This is not what the message was about, but it WAS what God wanted me to hear.  I know it.

"Shay, you are living a defensive life.  It doesn't have to be that way.  You can be pro-active if you really want to.  You can."

And those thoughts have continued for hours and hours.  I realized I need to learn what it means to be pro-active.  What does it mean to live an offensive life?  I suppose I am so afraid of being 'offensive' that I have relegated that very word to the garbage heap.  

Neither you or I have to be offensive in order to lead a life on the offense. It's time for us to think about what that means to each of us.  It's time for us to stop...

LIVING LIFE DEFENSIVELY.

The Dark Light

Visible light is the name for electromagnetic radiation that our eyes can see.

Is there a light that we can't see?

Well, there are forms of electromagnetic radiation that are not visible to our eyes.  The term "dark" is indicative of something that cannot be seen.

If I were a chemistry or physics student, I would talk to you about nano meters, radio waves, microwaves, infrared, ultraviolet or x-rays.

We can't see any of those things but we can see their results. That's true in much of existence.
We can't see the wind, but we see what the wind moves.  We can't see heat, but we can certainly feel its impact.  Radio waves may be invisible but the images on a TV screen are a result of their "dark" frequency.

There are countless invisible realities that are easy to dismiss or take for granted when we can't easily see them.

Some people may say that Jesus could be referred to as a "Dark Light" because He can no longer be seen.

The only problem is that Jesus is a historical reality.  He was born. He lived on this earth.  His life was documented and continues to affect history.

Because He did come to this world and make Himself visible, He cannot be a Dark Light.

But something else can.

There is a spiritual realm to this world that is definitely unseen, but very real all the same.  We feel its affects all the time. Sometimes people acknowledge it.  Many times people ignore it.

Unfortunately, refusing to acknowledge the existence of a reality will not make it "go away".  

Hey, if that were true I would refuse to recognize weight gain. Wouldn't that be awesome?  Just reject the existence of a truth and 'voila'.  All gone!

Sigh...would that that were so.  

But it's not and the sooner we accept that truth, the better off we will be.

Back to the Spiritual Reality we live in.

Since we know that Jesus is the Light of the World, then can anybody tell me:

Who is...

The Dark Light?

The Light That Cannot Be Blown Out

A couple of posts ago, I wrote about how frustrated I was.  Pretty much everyone can relate to that. Who, after all, doesn't get irritated and even downright angry from time to time?

I had said that I heard the expression "light a candle" ... but sometimes I felt like I was trying to light a candle when it was "windy".

This morning I realized something that I overlooked earlier.  Surprise. Surprise.

When I am trying to light a candle "in the wind"... and it's not "lighting" ... that's an indication that the candle I am trying to light is not coming from within.  I am allowing circumstances to dictate my "ability to light up." That happens when I try to take care of things in my flesh...or in my own strength apart from God working in me.

As Christians who know Jesus and have the Holy Spirit living inside of us, the "light" is inside of us in the form of the Holy Spirit.

No amount of "wind" can truly blow Him out.  He cannot be extinguished.

What do we need to do when the storm around us is threatening us?

We need to turn inward - to the Light inside of us that cannot be blown out.

A Candle in a Very Dark World.

We all have our ups and downs, right?  When I am "down" I want to know about other people's "downs".  I suppose I just don't want to feel like I'm "the only one".  

Have you ever been there?  Surely, you have.  Hasn't everyone?

Who do you think this is?  

*He failed in business.
* He was defeated in legislature.
*He again failed in business.
* He was elected to the legislature.
* His wife-to-be died.
* He had a nervous breakdown.
* He was defeated for Speaker of the House.
* He was defeated for Elector.
* A son died.
* He was defeated for the Senate.
* He was defeated for Vice-President.
* He was defeated for the Senate.
* This man, Abraham Lincoln, was elected President.

A failure? He may have thought so at one time.  But, in reality...he was a candle in a very dark world. 

Candles in the Night

What do you think of when you think of candles?

I think of serenity.  Beauty.  Gentleness...a soft glow.

When I picture a candle at it's best, it is always when it is lighting up the darkness.  That's when the soft glow projects a beauty and gentleness that quiets your soul.

You have undoubtedly heard the expression, "If it's dark, light a candle".

Sounds good, but I'll be honest.  Sometimes when I'm in a bad frame of mind or I'm just plain depressed, I don't want to hear something that sounds even remotely like a reprimand.  It makes me cringe.

I mean.  It is a true expression, but that doesn't mean it's always going to be easy.  Ever tried to light a candle in the wind?  Or how about this?  Try lighting it in the wind without any means of keeping the wind away from the candle.

That's how I feel sometimes.

Have you ever been there?

I stare into nothingness.  Day after day.  The family that raised me "loves" me...but won't talk to me. Haven't been able to figure that one out.  My husband and our family is wonderful, but the kids are now grown and on their own.  I can't expect my spouse to 'be' there for me in every way at all times.

So what do I do?  I work.  Sleep. Eat.  Work, sleep, eat.  Work, sleep, eat.  Oh, and I occasionally spend some time with my husband when he's not tired.

Now what?

I think I need to learn about people who have gone through dark periods in their lives - but have projected a gentle, soft glow as they allow their candle to be lit in spite of how dark their souls feel.

They are out there.

"Candles in the Night"

A Beautiful Representation...

I love putting up our Christmas tree at Christmas time!

It is decorated with gold and yellow lights along with gold, silver and a smattering of ruby colored ornaments.

Every time I walk in the room - no exception - and see it sparkling ...I think of the gifts that were given to Jesus in celebration of His birth. Yes, I know some of you want to "explain" to me that Jesus didn't actually "get" those gifts when we think He did.

For me, the beauty of the tree, once covered, is simply a representation of what I love in Christ. I think of what Christ did for us and continues to do. Even the aroma of the room is wonderful. I look around at everything I see. God provided all of it. The couches, the desk, the coffee table, the kitchen table and chairs...were all given to us from unexpected sources, none of whom knew the other.

We have never had much, materially, but God knows our hearts and needs. He knew that in my heart I loved beauty, but could not afford to "decorate". That was okay. It really was... but God stepped in and said "Let me help you out". And now...everything goes together amazingly! The only thing that our family actually "purchased" is a rug. Even that holds a fond memory for me when I remember the love that went into choosing it from among our whole family. We have never had much, materially, but at this time we were able to pool our resources and actually buy something, something we are rarely able to do!

When Christmas comes and I get to add that sparkling tree that reflects Christ's birth...it really completes a beautiful picture of what Christ has done. But He isn't finished. As wise believers and followers of Christ have said...He is with us equally throughout the year. He is with me, as well. He fills me with His love - but I am aware that His love is not limited to the compassionate, merciful love that everyone likes to talk about.

Yes, the compassion and mercy are there...but so is His wrath and righteous indignation. As beautiful as the Christmas season can be, it is also very true that He will judge this nation, starting with the House of God. That's a season that may not be so pleasant. It's a season that, actually, has been ongoing for some time all over the world - I just personally think it is going to get much worse.

In the meantime, I am so grateful for how you have chosen to spend your Christmas this year. Everybody is so different and God works in all of our lives in such unique ways that are so very important to each individual. Some things are "across the board"... a given. His birth, death and resurrection. The need for Christ as our Savior. But the details in each persons life may require, do require, different perspectives.

For example, I explained above, my love of Christmas time...and why. But people have different needs and/or are in different places. Those places are more likely than not, right where God wants them. I genuinely am not concerned about the "pagan" aspects of Christmas as they simply haven't taken root in my mind. But they may be very distressing to you as you think about all the horrible pagan practices that have taken place over history. If celebrating that aspect of Christmas, takes your minds to places you don't want to go ... God Bless You for abstaining from a holiday that accentuates those mind games Satan is trying to use to steer you off course. Stay your ground!

For me, at this time in life, the celebration in my home of the birth of Christ is a beautiful representation of Him and what He has done...as well as what He will do in my heart in the future if I let Him.

Happy Birthday, Jesus...and

Merry Christmas!

Evicted From La-La Land...

Oh dear...I'm afraid I'm going to make some people mad. For any of you that know me from previous articles, you know that I have a hard time saying or doing anything that might offend someone.

I love people - but I love the truth more. So... hang with me, okay?

What is "La La Land", anyway?

L.A.??? As in Los Angeles? ( One dictionary actually gave that as a definition).

Perhaps the people in L.A.? ( Yes, it was literally another definition).

Last, by not least, came the meaning that most people think of when they think of La La Land:

The state of being out of touch with reality.

So far, so good. No hurt feelings, everyone is okay. Now for the clincher:

What is reality?

This is where people get addled.

We get in a lather, become agitated, bewildered, disturbed and even irritated when people don't see things our way, right?

There are three things to consider:

1) Reality
2) Pure Reality
3) Our different worlds.

By "reality" I'm simply referring to the laws and consequences of life in this world alone.

By "pure reality" I mean to speak to people who embrace a spirtual understanding and combine it with the reality of this world. I refer to that as the Spirit -vs- Flesh.

And lastly, everybody lives in their own world which obviously would be different for everyone. Every human being sees and experiences the world around them in light of their own personal and private experiences.

Get it? Got it. Great!

Let me give the defintion of "La La Land" again:

"The state of being out of touch with reality".

Whether you think of reality as the life and consequences of this world, or reality that acknowledges a battle between the flesh and the spirit...we all live in this world. We all deal with life and it's consequences.

Do you ever find yourself in this world, minding your own business, when...BAM! Something hits you between the eyes, figuratively speaking, and stars begin to circle your head? (Okay...maybe I used to watch a lot of cartoons).

Pain - usually emotional pain - enters our world. And I've got to tell you...pain is not always obvious. Ever experienced confusion, anxiety, hurt, fear, agitation? Do you know what it's like to be perplexed, distracted, embarrassed,flustered or perturbed? Ever felt disoriented or unsettled?

Then you have felt pain.

I'm going to take a wild guess here:

I bet you didn't like it.

Chances are, it was a reality that didn't set too well with you. What do we ususally do when we don't like something?

Most of us avoid it. Escape it. Ignore it. Call it what you want, but the bottomline is,at that point we are choosing to ignore reality.

We are entering "La La Land".

You probably didn't like what I said. If you are like me, you might have felt a bit insulted. Perhaps a little defensive. Okay - very defensive.

Honestly, when I mentioned this topic to people before I wrote this post, I was shocked at how defensive and angry they where about this whole subject. They felt it was offensive.

Apparently,nobody wants to acknowledge that "they" are in La La Land, afterall... only irresponsible people live there! To suggest that the average person resides at that location is downright insulting!

Now I'm going throw out something that seems to be in left field.

Life throws us unexpected curveballs, like:

* Being layed off of work
* Finding out you have a debilitating disease
* Having your loved one leave you
* Death
* Demotion at work
* Slander that ruins you
* Pregnancy that you aren't prepared for.

The list is endless.

Is it possible that those things that hurt us, are...in reality:

EVICTING US FROM LA LA LAND???

Dancin On the Line...

I've got a question for you. Do you think, as we go through life, that people make various life choices in the course of their lives- that they are always happy with? More to the point, do you think the decisions that are made are generally good options or do we tend to make bad judgements from time to time? Then again, is it possible that the actions we take in our life are simply "okay" options?

Now that I think about it, we usually don't even think about whether our actions are good or bad - we just do them.

But, when we do decide to be proactive and start actively thinking about the choices we make . . . maybe we are asking ourselves the wrong question.

Instead of asking if our soon to be made decision is right, wrong or okay - maybe we should ask instead;

"Is it WISE"?

Puts things into a new perspective.

Think about it. Lots of things we do are okay.

There is nothing illegal about going out to lunch with a business partner of the opposite sex.

Certainly it is not wrong to dance with that same person at a holiday party? (So you're married...or he is).

What's the harm in being willing to give him a listening ear? (Too bad things are going so poorly with his insensitive wife). It's a good thing you are there for him.

Can you help it if you need him to give you a ride home? Hmmm...he is a lot better looking now that the lights are low and you know his heart. Surely it wouldn't hurt to stop by his house for a cup of coffee before you go home...but things get out of hand.

Days, weeks, months or even years later...you are kicking yourself for your mistakes. 'If only you knew. If only you could go back in time and change things, everything would be different'.

Well, I've got news for you that really isn't news.

You will never be able to go back in time nor will you ever be able to look into the future.

The scenario above was just a scenario - but a very common one. There are thousands of others..but you get the picture.

None of those actions in and of themselves were neccesarily wrong - but they were unwise.

Are you one of the millions of people that has dealt with poor choices in the past or perhaps you are dealing with a circumstance right now that doesn't feel completely right - but you haven't done anything wrong. Not really.

Obviously, you can do whatever you want. Your decisions are yours to make. Many people don't want to say "no" simply because they are too concerned with image. "What will people think of me? They'll think I'm a prude. People will think I'm weird."

Newsflash. This is YOUR life. You have to live with yourself and the decision of your choices every day for the rest of your life. The people you are concerned about aren't going to be living your life for you. So...

If you find you are flirting with danger and skirting the issue, chances are you are:

Dancin On the Line.

AN AVOIDABLE REGRET

It's really weird.  I mean, here we are living our various lives...all of us are very unique, very different.  Billions upon billions of individuals all around the globe.  We reside in different countries and cultures.  Our ethnicity varies from person to person.  Some people are rich, others poor, others in the middle somewhere. In spite of those many differences and more, we all have one thing in common.  One thing unites us.  One thing looms over absolutely every individual who is now alive or who will ever live. One thing is in your future that you will never be able to avoid, no matter how much you try.  Igoring it won't make it go away. We will soon deal with the same thing every one of our ancesters did.

How can I phrase this?  Perhaps the most tactful thing I can say is:  Our days are numbered. Or, for people who need me to be more blunt.  We are all going to die.  No. Seriously.  Don't hit the delete button as you tell yourself that you are not interested in this subject.  What I have to say is something you are going to want to hear.  You have an opportunity right now to push an emotional fast forward button on your life and see into your future.

We all live.  We all die.  Nobody wants to talk about it, but it is reality.  We can't stop death from eventually taking over...but we can make our days of life count.

You see, When you begin to live as if your days are numbered . . . you will gain a heart of wisdom.

It's true.  Think about it.  When you have a deadline to meet, you count your days...rearrange your schedule, prioritize your time in a way that you can accomplish what needs to be taken care of by a particular due date.

You have a due date that is more important, more significant, more compelling and powerful than any other juncture of your life.  Remember when I said earlier that you have an opportunity to do an emotional fast forward on your life?  You will push that fast forward button when you imagine yourself at the end of your life.  When only months or perhaps days, are left, you will look back on your life and why you did things the way you did...

Why did you work so much?  Was it really necessary to spend all those overtime hours so that your kids could live in a bigger house and have their own bedroom?  Did they have to wear only designer jeans?  Was making the money you needed to pay for all those "things" worth missing out on a relationship with your family?  Believe it or not, this is only the second thing that people who are nearing the end of their life, regret.

What is the first thing?  What is the regret that studies have found fill most peoples mind at the end of their lives?

"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

Regrets.  Life is full of them.  But you and I have the opportunity to learn from other peoples regrets.  Their remorse is so very sad.  It doesn't have to be that way for us.  Why?  Because it is ...

AN AVOIDABLE REGRET.

Willpower or Real Power?

When I hear the phrase "just pull yourself up by your bootstraps" I want to scream. Have you ever felt that way?  Or are you the person that gives that advice to others?

Doesn't matter.  We're all people and we all live in a world that threatens to destroy us in some way at some point.  Everybody has their different "demons" as they say.

You may have a lot of money and/or power.  Problems come with that.  Perhaps you have no money and are alone.  Problems come with that as well.  It seems that nobody is free from potential emotional damage...whether you want to admit it or not.

"Pull yourself up by the bootstraps" as I mentioned above, is a popular phrase.  Or perhaps..."just do it".
Nice and concise.  Too bad it's easier said than done.

I said I don't like those phrases...but why?  I guess it's because those things rely on willpower and that requires energy...and you know what?  That's okay.  For a while. But eventually our energy gets sapped.  We are drained.  Then what?

Rest.  Go on a vacation.  Buy some new clothes.  Remodel.  (Or, for the people who can't afford that at the moment - re-arrange the living room or bedroom).

Being the creative,versatile people that we are, we will think of something.

And then...

We do it all over again.  Live life.  Eventually the problems return and we "pull ourselves up by the bootstraps" just one more time. . . and the cycle continues.

Willpower is amazing.  We have so much more of it than we realize.

We can go on the crazy willpower roller coaster ride for the rest of our lives - with those little breaks in between to keep us going - or we can plug into some real power.

But what is the Real Power and how can we plug into it?

The real power is found in Christ.  When we are connected to Him we can experience real power.  Healing power.  Incredible power.

So what will it be for you?

Willpower or Real Power?

Can Marriage REALLY last???

Well...today is mine and my husbands 33rd year anniversary.  Our marriage started out a little on the unorthodox side.  We actually didn't start dating until AFTER we got married.  I know.  Weird.  Definitely not the norm nor is it what I would typically recommend.  But I WOULD recommend dating each other for the rest of your lives.

Seriously.  It's fun.  It totally enhances your relationship.  Your kids - if you decide you want them - will watch you from a distance and secretly delight in the fact that their mom and dad are still married in this very insecure world.  But... more importantly:

Love each other.

Sounds easy, right?  Wrong!  Yes, loving requires that you love others as much as you love yourself - and that isn't easy.  Well...loving ourselves can be easy - but loving others is certainly not a piece of cake.  Not all the time, anyway.

Truly loving somebody means you will consider their feelings at any given time.  You will want the best for them and do what you can to help in that area.  They come first.

Ideally, this is a two way street.  Both of you will put each other first.

Alas, more often than not, only one spouse invests in the relationship... usually the woman.
Ever wonder why that is?  Pretty simple explanation, actually.

Women are generally more relational.   

So MEN.  Listen up!  This is vitally important!

You are important and I recognize that you have abilities that surpass your counterpart.  But think about this:

If you were to tell you that you had a short time to live...what would you do?  Close your eyes and think about it before you read on.

If you are like the vast majority of the population, you would change your perspective. You wouldn't think to yourself that it is incredibly important to work overtime...you would want to spend "overtime" with your wife and kids.  With people that are important to you.  Relationships are what make human life exceptional.

So, do yourself, your spouse and your kids a favor and:

DATE YOUR WIFE.
SPEND TIME WITH YOUR KIDS
INVESTS IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE TRULY IMPORTANT.

When you do that, you will find that...yes...

Marriage CAN really last!

From Hassle to Hope!

What would you think if I told you that irritating, annoying, frustrating life circumstances that we deal with every day...can actually become amazingly wonderful realities in our lives?

You'd think I was out of my mind.

Well...what if it were true?

You see, when we apply God's promises to everyday situations, those little mundane annoying circumstances will actually become nuggets of hope in our lives.  Those nuggets - those annoying circumstances, chronic difficulties or horrendous struggles, will turn into stepping stones that we can put our weight on until the day comes when we step into our Final Hope - Heaven.

I know.  You are probably furrowing your brow right now as you wonder what in the world I'm talking about.  Stay with me here.

Did you see the movie, "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader"?  Remember the pond that turns everything into gold that is immersed in the water?  The pool of water was found in a cave and the people who discovered it, saw what looked like valuable statues in the pond. Turns out that everything that was dropped into the water - no matter how mundane it was - turned into gold.

That is what happens when we know the Word of God and apply His promises to the everyday circumstances in our lives.  Those painful frustrations actually become potential sources of hope... but only when we apply the truth of God's Word to every situation.

It's as if we "dropped" an exasperating life event into the water...the water being the Word of God...and eventually what was once a frustration becomes gold in the sense that it places you in a position of needing to apply God's word in order to "deal" with the vexing venue you find yourself in.  The gold isn't the situation...we are refined like gold.

No.  It isn't easy and it certainly doesn't come naturally.  It requires that we allow the Holy Spirit to work in our lives as we give ourselves over to Him.  That takes discipline and willingness.  It may happen quickly or it could take more time than we'd like, but...

It can be done.  It IS being done by some.  Do you want to include yourself in that number?

It's time to move . . .

From Hassle to Hope!

A Hope That Satisfies...

You know how sometimes you read or hear about something that sticks with you?  A long time ago, I was reading about a couple of hikers that got lost.  I will call them Becky and Tara.  Nobody knows exactly what happened, but apparently they got lost and eventually separated from each other in hopes that at least one person would find civilization and send help back to the other hiker...if that hiker could be found.

Of course, once separated, each hiker would be on their own and very much alone. They parted ways and made individual attempts at reaching civilization for days. Becky, who was about ready to keel over and sink into oblivion, took a few more steps that took her to the top of a barren hill that she had climbed.  She looked down and spotted a small lake.  It was the first water she had seen in days.  It gave her a hope that renewed her strength with a fervor that propelled her to the life saving watering hole.

She lived.

Days later, a search party found the other hiker about a mile behind where Becky had almost died before she spotted the life giving water.

Tara was dead.

You see, the water that gave Becky hope and propelled her to action, was not in Tara's vision.

I wonder what killed Tara first?  The lack of water or the lack of hope?

So what does this story have to do with me and you?  Sigh...

I will speak for myself.  When I have a lack of hope, I want to die.  Looking around at people surrounding me, I see that I am not alone.  Hopelessness is pervasive and threatens to destroy us.

Proverbs 13:12 says:

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

How can we turn life into longings?  In my next post, I will share with you what I have discovered about how to have ...

A Hope That Satisfies...

One Month to Live

Okay.  I admit it.  I was at someone else's house for a while and found that I needed something to wedge the door open so I could get some fresh air inside.  If I could just find something narrow, as I didn't want a gale of wind pouring through the house.  I small slit would do.  "I know", I thought.    I sauntered over to the bookshelf in search of a suitable doorstop.

I pulled out a book, tried wedging it in the door - but it was a little too wide.  "Rats".  On my way back to the bookshelf to return the unhelpful item, I glanced at the title of the book in my hand.  It caught my attention immediately:


"One Month to Live" by Kerry & Chris Shook.

Wow.  That sounded like something I would be really interested in.  No...I 'm not going to die anytime soon that I am aware of - but still.  Sounded interesting.

I started reading:


"If you only had one month to live, what would you change?"

Hmmm...what would I change?  I continued:

"... By embracing the fact that our time on earth is limited, we can live deliberately, no longer postponing the joy and peace that come from fulfilling our God-given destiny..."


"Your time on earth is limited.  
No matter how much this idea makes you squirm, it's a fact.  No matter who you are, how young or old, what measure of success you've attained, or where you live, mortality remains the great equalizer.  With each tick of the clock, a moment of your life is behind you.  Even as you read this paragraph, seconds passed that you can never regain.  Your days are numbered, and each one that passes is gone forever."


Does this sound morbid?  Perhaps to some people it does.  But the fact remains that it is true.  Turns out this book, "One Month to Live", is not so much about death as it is about life.

Two main points, as I see it:

1)  If you aren't so sure about your eternal destiny, you might be scared away by the very title.  If that is the case, my recommendation is that you read some of my previous blogs.  Take life and death seriously.

2)  If you are certain about where you will go when your physical body reaches it's expiration date, then this book is a keeper.  Why?  Because it is so helpful to look at life with a renewed perspective.  It changes everything...including your heart.

I like to write...but I have to say, it would make me very happy if you would purchase the book, "One Month to Live".  I am not saying that because I would get anything out of it.  The authors don't even know of my existence.  You, however, are important to me - even though I may not know your name or face - and because of that I hope you purchase this book.  It will encourage you and give you the new perspective that you may very well need.

Take care, okay?  Pretend like you only have...

One Month to Live.  

A New Day

I've been gone for a while.  Though I haven't physically left, my heart and mind apparently decided to take a sabbatical without my consent.  Has that ever happened to you? Sometimes circumstances are so incredibly overwhelming that it is all you can do to keep your head above water.

You were very missed by me...but I just didn't have the energy or heart to write.  Things weren't terrible.  Well, yes . . . maybe they were.  Alas, I'm still alive - admittedly "much to my dismay".  I know.  That sounds awful.  But the truth is, sometimes life throws us so many curve balls, all we want to do is get out of the game!

It's okay though.  No.  It's good.  We all have such very strong wills.  But I, speaking for myself, want to let God's Will for my life be preeminent.  Problem is, following God is both incredibly easy and supremely difficult at the same time.

Why is that so?

Bottom line... the main thing God wants us to be is - loving.  Yes, there are hundreds of "commands" that God used to require - back in the "Old Testament" days.  But when He sent His Son, Jesus Christ...to die for our sins thereby becoming a sacrifice for us - if we choose to believe in Him - things became both more simple and more difficult.


How so?

More simple because the only real command that God wants His children  to follow is:

Love.  Love yourself and your neighbors.

Oh.  And did I mention that He wants us to love our enemies?  To love people that are "unlovable" is not easy.  But maybe you've "got it down". Ask yourself this question.   Do you love those people who are difficult to love - all the time?  Does God only want us to "love" when we're "up to it"?

So how do we do it?  How do we let love permeate our lives and lifestyle so that it touches everybody we come in contact with?

I'll tell you one thing for certain - it isn't going to be easy... and it isn't natural for us.  The only way we can love with that kind of love is to let God love people through us.  The only way that will happen is if we die to ourselves - our own self wills.  But wait.  Doesn't God want us to be unique?  Isn't that how He created us?

Yes.

The thing is, submitting to God does not mean we become a bunch of robots without the unique identity that God created us to have.

Okay, I'm going to say something that many of you may disagree with vehemently.

We can't submit our wills to God for very long of our own accord.  That's the hard part.  We need to submit to God.  Only He knows us so completely that He knows exactly how to help us be the people both He and we want to be.

God may even allow crushing circumstances into our lives so that we can know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we can't live in our own strength.  I know.  That sounds terribly cruel.  But the fact is, it's the only thing that He can do to enable us to die to our own strong self-will that gets us into trouble.  But...

The closer we come to letting God's Will become our own, the sooner we will have...

A New Day
   

A Stumbling Block or Stepping Stone?

Many of you know who I'm talking about when I mention John the Baptist.  But for those of you who don't... let me give you a quick run down:

John was Jesus's cousin.  He told people that soon, the Son of God would be on the scene.  Basically, he prepared the way for Christ... but I don't know how prepared he was for his own precarious future!  You see, in a nutshell, John was letting people know that King Herod had an affair and married his brothers wife, Herodias (after she divorced King Herod's brother).  That didn't set too well with the King and was especially embarrassing for his new wife, Herodias.

It's not a pretty picture and it doesn't end well for John.  The beginning of John's most difficult trial began when he was thrown into prison.

So why did I remind you of this historical fact?  What does it have to do with the here and now?

Keep reading.

Imagine what you would feel like if you were in John's position. There you sit.  The man who proclaimed to the world that the Son of God was coming.  Jesus comes.  Heals people left and right.Casts out demons.  Miracles have become a daily occurrence...and there you sit in a dark, musty, dungeon at the mercy of a King who was known for his cruelty.  What would you think?  How would you be feeling?  Could it be that you would begin to wonder about this "Son of God" named Jesus?  Seems like He would save the very man that prepared the way for the Messiah!?

So, John's world is now his prison cell.  His pain, his hurts, his confusion ...whatever emotions he may have had...threatened to overwhelm him.  Imagine being left alone in that environment.  His world was no bigger than the dank dungeon he sat in and as time passed, he began to doubt..question...wonder.  "Is Jesus really who He says He is?

Then John asked the disciples who came to visit him if they would ask Jesus if  He really was " the one...or if they should be looking for someone else"?  I mean, supernatural occurrences and amazing wonders had resulted in healings for countless people... what about John?  Where was John's miracle that he so desperately needed?  Didn't Jesus care about him?

The disciples asked Jesus that question.  Know what Jesus said?

Yes, many people are being healed.

 "The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor."  Matthew 11:5

So, John may have thought ... "What about me?"  "What am I - chopped liver?"  (Okay...maybe he didn't say the part about the liver).

But Jesus asked the disciples to tell John one more very important thing. And the message that Jesus wanted John to get - is the same message He wants us to have.

 "Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of Me."


What does that mean?  Most versions say something along the lines of:  "Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me."

But in the Greek, the word for "not offended" is a word whose primary meaning has to do with stumbling.
That is why I like the version:

Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of Me.

What an awesome thing to say...Jesus is acknowledging in those few words, that life is going to be different for everyone.  The way God chooses to work will be unique to each individual.  Some people will experience His miraculous works in one way, others will experience His miraculous grace in a whole different light.  But people, being people, will compare.  "Hey, God did this for so and so... why isn't He doing the same thing for me?"

Because God loves the entire world, full of people who are unique and varied.  Everybody responds differently to God's work and consequently God needs to work differently in peoples lives.  He sees the big picture.  We don't.

That is why it is so important that we listen to the last message John received from Christ.

"Blessed is ANYONE who does not stumble on account of ME."

It's true that many people get disgruntled with Jesus when He doesn't do things the way they think He ought to. Fortunately, there are other people who think differently. The question can be asked. Is Jesus...

A Stumbling Block or Stepping Stone?

People Pleasers -vs- People Lovers

Yep. That's me... a people pleaser. The thing is, I really do love people as well. Unfortunately, sometimes my people pleaser self over-rides my love of others.

Boy, I hate to say that. It's embarrassing to admit.

I'll back up a bit.

The other day, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to confront somebody that I really like. I consider this person my friend. She is very sensitive and thoughtful. It's fun talking with her. She's a good listener, but also asks thought provoking questions and interacts with me. When I talk with her it actually involves two way communication. What a thought!

Unfortunately, something important was missing from my house and she is one of only a few people that could have taken it.

When I discovered the missing item from my house, I assumed I had made a mistake. Perhaps I misplaced it or something.

I racked my brain trying to create a scenario that would explain the loss.

No go.

Aaarrrggghhh!!!!!!

Unfortunately, after looking back at several red flags and discovering that other people were experiencing similar things from my friend, I realized I was going to have to confront the situation. Actually, I suppose one reason I'm having such a hard time with this is because in my heart, I know I'm not confronting a situation as much as I am confronting a person. A person I consider a friend. And the item that was stolen was not just any item. It was medication I needed for my health. The person in question knew it was necessary to prevent me from a serious health issue.

I hate confrontation. I don't even like to say the word. Even typing it isn't easy. Does that say anything about me?

But why was the idea so repulsive to me? Why was I so afraid of it? Why? I mean, seriously, it is really scary for me. It bothered me that I was so afraid to confront this situation that I was willing to ignore it altogether and turn my head like so many other people over the years have done.

If I am a true friend to her I will not allow her to yet again "get away" with something.
So why was I having such a difficult time?

Later that day, I saw a sign. It said:

"Contrary to what you may think, people - pleasers don't confront: people - lovers do"

As soon as I read that, my heart sank with a knowing feeling. I was allowing the people-pleasing side of me to overshadow my love of people when it came to my having to deal with confrontation.

Time for me to grow up and keep my focus on loving people instead of trying to please them.

Can anybody relate to ...

People Pleasers -vs- People Lovers?

Hit the Reset Button!

How can we be in control of things that we aren't in control of?

Okay. That question was just a little bit confusing.

What I meant was, how can we be happy and feel like we are actually contributing to society and the world around us in a meaningful way, when all we are doing is ...

Working. Going to the store. Running errands. You know.

Life Stuff.

Hey, it may not qualify as "important" - but you certainly can't shrug it aside. Let's face it,
like it or not - a lot of things fall into that category.

Remember, in the last post, how we talked about taking the question:

What time is it?

And asking ourselves, instead:

How should I spend my time?

It was great. But what about...

The boring times?
The empty times?
The running around like a chicken-with-it's-head-cut off times?

What about the times you feel like strangling somebody?

You fill in the blank.

Do words like... frustrated, irritated, stressed out, ticked off, impatient and annoyed - ever describe how you feel when you are just doing something because it had to be done?

You wouldn't go to work if you didn't have to.

You wouldn't go to school if you didn't have to.

You wouldn't go to the store if you didn't have to.

You wouldn't do a lot of things, if you didn't have to!

But you do.

Why?

Because you have to!

Aarrgghh!!!

So what do we do when that happens? Follow through with our thoughts? Uh. I'm thinking that may not always be a good idea...for obvious reasons.

The truth of the matter is, we aren't in control of the world around us - but we can control how we respond to it.

We have an incredible opportunity to actually reflect God's light in this world. To represent Him. We can be an example of His love right here! Right now! In the ...

Workplace
Check out stand
Walmart (or)
Home Depot

Anywhere where there are people.

Doesn't the Bible say something about...

Working as unto the Lord?
Loving your neighbor?
Loving your enemy?

Of course it does. That and so much more! Excuse me, but if we as Christians, actually applied God's teachings in our everyday lives instead of compartmentalizing our faith and turning it into an exclusive Sunday club, we would be so much more appealing to society - don't you think?

Please don't misunderstand me. Their are many incredible people who love the Lord and are amazing witnesses of His love - but if we step up to the plate, we can increase the number of people who fall into that category... not only that - we will be so much happier!

"Oh great", you may be thinking to yourself. This article is for Christians. I'm not a Christian.

No. These principals apply to everyone. As a Christian, I believe God gives me the power to more easily love people who are difficult to love - if I am choosing to walk in His Spirit - but if that is not where you are at, it's not where you are at. The principals are still true.

When I ask myself how to spend my time it's like setting the "reset" button. Almost every time, my perspective changes. It's absolutely amazing how our thoughts can affect our thinking which affects our emotions and ... voila ... suddenly the things we have to do are not as pressuring as they were a couple of minutes earlier.

Our actions become guided by a deliberate thought process of our making - instead of us feeling controlled by the tyranny of the urgent.

Every time you think about how you are doing, whatever it is that you are doing...you have deliberately chosen to:

Hit the Reset Button !

Making Love . . . A Verb.

Is this a Mothers Day article? Well, yes and no. It's not specifically meant for Mothers Day ... but you know what? If you were to sit down and watch this video with your wife, it could be the best Mothers Day gift you could give her. (Munching on her favorite chocolates or desert, while watching the video, would be a great add on).

It's easy to give a gift, but chances are good that what your wife really wants...is your time.

Sit down together and watch this video.

It's never been easier to fall in love and never been harder to stay in love. Is it even possible for two people to be happy together forever? Yes. Over 2,000 years ago, Jesus gave us the foundation for enduring love. In this message, Andy Stanley reveals the simple, yet powerful, principle.

Staying in Love

Time For A . . . Time Budget.

We are probably all very familiar with the importance of a financial budget. I'm not saying we all have one - but we are at least familiar with the concept.

A little while ago, the subject of time came up. And, of course, I think one of peoples' most often asked questions is:

What time is it?

That question is characteristic of a society that is obsessed with the clock. We are fast paced, driven and uptight.

As comedian, Brian Regan says:

How long does it take to toast a pop tart? A minute? If you want them dark? But people need something even faster, so they go for the microwave method. Listen, if you need to zap fry your pop tarts before you go out the door...you may need to loosen up your schedule.

Fear not, people, it's just a joke. I personally like pop tarts. That's not the point. I have simply noticed that instead of controlling time, we tend to let time control us.

Hey, if you need to know the time - you need to know the time. I'm not suggesting you hit the delete button on that question. But I would suggest that you ask yourself something else.

Something:

more important
more useful
and subsequently
more meaningful!

The question I am referring to actually has two angles to it. Right now, however, I just want to focus on the first facet:

1) How should I spend my time?

If your days are driving you crazy with their constant pulls on your time and you are forever looking at your watch...

Or if you are always asking somebody else what time it is so that you can meet the demands of this life in a "timely fashion"...

Maybe you should ask yourself what types of things are included in your busy schedule?

In other words, How do you spend your time?

Are you spending it on something that is important or is it just another project, task or endeavor that must be completed?

I am not saying those things don't need to be taken care of - it just doesn't automatically mean it is an important activity.

Urgent. Yes.
Important. Not necessarily.

Lots of things are "must do's". How about going to work? But, chances are, it's just a means to an end.

It is good to identify what is really important.

Our husbands.
Our wives.
Our kids.
Relationships.

Those things tend to get neglected - yet when you get to the end of your life, you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that -in this world- those were the very things you will have wished you spent more time on.

So, today...right now...we can look at our schedules and ask ourselves...

Is it time to refocus and readjust my time?

A Financial Budget is good, but I'm thinking it's...

Time for a ...Time Budget!